Gift of God

Life is a blur. It's been a year and a quarter since my eyes were last opened to seeing clearly in a way that inspired me to change, and now I feel I've digressed so much that there will be no way to return to that way of thinking. My mind is like mush. I've chosen to forget, to silence my heart. I'm through taking risks and trying hard. I want to be done. But at the same time, I don't. This life is so unsatisfying. I feel I've heard every argument, read every book, turned every page, but I haven't.  I'm so young and so full of potential, but my potential decreases each day that I stay stagnant. And I am staying stagnant. I don't know a way around that. I don't know how to get past it. I need help, but I don't know where to go. I am so lazy. I'm not even tempted. Instead I torment myself. There's no need to succeed because I've already failed. Everything I've done, I've done to make my life easier and more enjoyable. But I've lost my concept and perception of reality. I am far from happy. I am far from joyful. I have forgotten my God. Forgotten love. I know what is right, yet I run from it. The more I know, the more I desire, and the more I see truth, the more I want to run away from recognizing it in my own life. But the bars are starting to close in on me. The ball and chain weigh heavier than ever. The cage walls are pressing in all around so much so that if something doesn't change I will go mad. It steals my breath to think of staying here. Stuck. I feel there needs to be change. Earth-shattering change. I wrote the following a while back:

"Was it not only the blood of the martyrs that seals this truth? But much more: the blood of Christ. For we are aliens in this land, though our hearts have been worn thin by our selfishness. We have forgotten the blood of the cross. We have forgotten the inheritance that we are granted by Christ's awesome work. We are foreigners, yet we publish the reason unto death by coexistence and niceties that use so called wisdom to make it easier to be a Christian while living here. But we have not been called to be pacifists, rather our calling is violent for the sake of knowing Christ. Therefore we will in fact cut off those things which enable us to death. We set aside the world and put on the armor of God, with which we do war for the proclamation of the gospel. And it is an offensive thing that we do. For our souls are caught in defense, not of our well being, but of the gospel, where our savior was killed for our sakes. It is too often that we will pander to a belief that we can enjoy this world while also enjoying Christ. But do we not see that a luxury without cost does not bring joy, and it's ramifications do not bring peace? Rather we live unsettled with the presence of wonderful things because deep down we know the faith that dwells in us to prosper the gospel will only take joy in the Lord! And so for this we must become violent, not as murderers, but as souls striving to take our place among the annals of saints who have come before us. Through fire and trials they have marched to the flames and to torture singing hymns and lauding praise to God most high! For though I die, though I am reviled, though I am indeed hated by this world, I am redeemed in the next. So remember when tempted by the tortuous ways of this sinful world to hold onto those things that tie you to this mortal plane, that no matter what you do,  Christ is Lord and He bids thee come and die."

I read this and realize that I haven't wanted to own up to having written this. I have been so stuck that even these words did not convince me to change. Yet here in my brokenness I see that all I have done is forced myself to run from something that I will have to address sooner or later. And addressing it will be painful. I love the pleasures of this life. It's true, I do. But they do much less than satisfy. They may keep me from hunger or thirst for a time, but at the end of the day I am still an empty vessel that needs to be filled. And I think that such pleasures are the only things in life that can fill me. But alas, they cannot. So the question is: how am I filled? What do I do?

There is a story in scripture of one who is thirsty, a woman who comes to draw water from a well. The imagery in John 4:7-15 is almost perfectly analogous to this predicament of mine. Here a woman who is an adulteress who has had 5 husbands and is currently seeing a man who she is not married to comes to draw water from a well. Jesus asks her for a glass of her water and she finds it odd that a Jew would ask a Samaritan for water. If we understand their culture at all, the Jews considered themselves to be of a higher class than the Samaritans, so she is right in her concern. But Jesus turns this question on her and makes her think, saying that she should be the one asking Him for water. And here's where the analogy works: Jesus is challenging the woman to draw water for him that will quench His thirst, but water from a pagan culture cannot quench thirst. This water becomes an analogy for sin, while His water becomes an analogy for faith.

Now she is stubborn to accept this at first because He is a Jew and there is an issue of where is the best place to worship. But Jesus, being more concerned with her soul tells her how there is a time coming and is already here where the true worshipers will worship in Spirit and in truth (cv. 23). But I don't want this issue of where it is right to worship to distract from my point. Its purpose in Scripture is so that we will understand true worship. But it is also here to show us that the faith that leads to true worship only comes from one source: namely Jesus.

And in looking more closely at Jesus' question back in verse ten, it is a conditional question! He doesn't say simply: Ask me and I will give you living water. But He says "If, you knew the gift of God, and who it is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." This means that before you can even ask for water, you have to first know the "gift of God." What is this "gift of God" and why is it so important to know it before being able to ask for living water?

Well the first verse that comes to mind is Ephesians 2:8 where the apostle Paul writes: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God." Certainly there are many gifts that God gives to His chosen people but there is one that stand out above all of them. It is identified here with the determinate article "the" making the implication that of this magnitude of gifts of God, there is but one. Let me say this a different way. There is a gift of God that stands above all the rest, it is the gift of salvation (or grace through faith). It is, by far, the greatest gift ever given to God's elect, and it is not something we can take, rather it is a gift.

What Jesus is saying is simple: if you know what the gift of God is, you will not hesitate to ask for it. Have you ever spoiled a gift for someone? What happens when they find out what it is? They want their gift don't they? Especially if it is a great gift, then they want it all the more. When we sneak a peek in the bag or look under the wrapping just enough to know what our gift is, all our anticipations melt away and we are left with nothing less than a desire for that which we know we will ultimately receive. But if, when we sneak a peak, we see the greatest gift that we have ever beheld. Our joy becomes too much and we have to run to the gift giver and ask for it immediately.

And this is the greatness of the gift that Jesus is talking about. This "living water" once drunk, quenches thirst so well that you need never drink it again. In fact He says: "The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (cv. 14). In hearing this statement the woman is amazed, intrigued and astounded. And to be honest you would be too.

See the analogy of Jesus' water is faith, but the analogy of the water of the well is sin. Sin will always leave you thirsty again. And this woman starts having a crisis of faith because she's starting to realize during this conversation that she's been trying to fill her thirst of life in everything that she does. Her entire life has been one of searching for some type of fulfillment and purpose, but all she has found is that the more you strive for the waters of sin, the more they taste like death. So when she is told that this man will offer her spiritual water that is so satisfying that she will never have to search in vain again for it. She has a small moment of faith. She humbles herself, knowing now the gift of God and asks "Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water" (cv. 15).

In a sense she is being naive still thinking that it might be physical water that Jesus is talking about. But even in her naivety the words are profound and the writer, John, knows it. See this is now for us to know and to ask. This is something we all go through as we become Christians. The gift of God has been made known so that we who ask may receive it. Why? So that we don't have to go out and draw the water of death any longer. Now we may try, and certainly, that's where I've been for some time now. But I am a saint of God and deep down I know the difference. And while I have certainly tried to go back to my old ways to be filled, God has always been by my side with a glass of living water urging me to drink.

I do not understand the full permissive will of God, and I doubt this life will ever reveal it to me. But I know that it is worth becoming violent in my heart to turn my back from constantly drawing water that leads to death, and drink instead, the satisfying water that wells up into a spring of eternal life. I know that I will often fail, but it is when I am at my weakest that I know I'll see God for His strongest.

Through Storm and Gale

I had a heart, that tore asunder.
My bleeding wills brought senseless blunders
Yet while I sin, yet while i wail,
You raise the sail, through storm and gale.


there I go when I walk
to silence evil talk
to make the red sea drown
the burdens that have bound
inside the walls of fear
that take these simple tears
and blame them on the ears that cannot hear

though the moment seems alarming
vanity is charming
and through the curse disarming
to the core of what is harming
a faith that's metered out
in metronome display
where the constant is a beggar in the fray

now the music of the night
sounds like magic to my plight
as I push the distant dreams
into sanity's obscene
dark corridor of grievances
as greed and power balances
the madness as I trample under foot

and the good and bad alike
tend to blend in my new spite
and my friends become well chosen
till the choice is of exclusion
so my sight turns bleaker
and the weak become weaker
it's wrong but I don't know it till it kills


I had a heart, that tore asunder.
My bleeding wills brought senseless blunders
Yet while I sin, yet while i wail,
You raise the sail, through storm and gale.


now the madness overtaken
as blood for this perdition
has made itself uncertain
of how to raise the curtain
on all the joy in life
and the funeral's respite
to take away the horror of this curse

but the demon wants to stay
like a child it wants to play
to run into the places
where the Holy Spirit chases
and the devil seems content
to make easy my lament
as a stoic in the doubter's game of waste

but if I doubt that I am thinking
then I'm thinking of the doubting
and by rights that makes me wrong
if I doubt that I am strong
for the Father makes quite clear
how the Son will soon appear
to be the judge of every action in my being

but more than perfect justice
He shall swarm me with forgiveness
when belief becomes my witness:
His blood takes away my sickness
and the tears that will be shed
are wiped away by he who bled
and whispers "Well done, thou good and faithful servant!"


I had a heart, that tore asunder.
my bleeding wills brought senseless blunders
yet while I sin, yet while i wail,
You raise the sail, through storm and gale.

Forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e23fo2NkDu0

"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

- 1 John 1:8-9

Do you understand what forgiveness is? I mean, if you are a Christian and you consider yourself a member of the body of Christ, do you really understand what it means to be forgiven? We often come before God as a sinner and a failure and pour out our hearts of shame before him and yet still feel guilty. We repent, and then repent and often repent for the same sin over and over again thinking that we need to repent numerous times in order to be forgiven. But the bible says in 1 John that though no man is without sin (for if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us), that God removes the stains of sin from our corrupted souls (but if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness)

It's interesting to me that he doesn't stop with forgiveness in this passage, as if when God forgives it is something less than a full cleansing. But to make it sure, and fully sure, that we understand the scope of His forgiveness, the writer goes back to the Psalm where King David repents after committing adultery with Bathsheba and killing her husband Uriah. Where he uses the word clean to describe the way God deals with the repentant sinner's heart: "Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!" (Ps. 51:2) "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." (Ps. 51:7) and "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Ps. 51:10)

What the psalmist desires is not merely forgiveness from God, His prayer is for righteousness. David knows the true heart of God: that God is so Holy that David cannot stand in God's presence with his sin. So his repentance becomes one of asking for cleansing, even if it is a painful cleansing (purge me with hyssop), so that he will no longer be removed from the presence of the Lord.

And so this is the promise being fulfilled in the new testament by a new covenant where now we are cleansed and made righteous by the blood of Christ. For Jesus did not merely endure the scouring of hyssop, but rather the torture and sentence of death on the cross. And so do we get this? Do we really understand what it means to be called righteous? Can it be somehow understood that all our sins were nailed to that tree so that we are not just forgiven, but completely clean? It's not just that God looks at our sinful state and says, "It's ok, I'll accept you anyways."  But rather, through our repentance -- which only comes by faith, which only comes by grace from God, through the cross of Christ, not by any of our works, or of the law (for if righteousness could be gained through the law then Christ died in vain) -- God says to the miserable, broken and weary sinner: "YOU ARE RIGHTEOUS."

To say that God says any less would be to deny the power of Christ's sacrifice. In fact if you're repenting more than once for any one sin, then that is not faith, that's a lack of faith and you need to repent of that. But even if you failed to repent of every missed deed, you would still be counted righteous, for it is not the action of repentance that chooses God, but it is the action of Jesus on the cross and His resurrection that provides you with faith. And so even the very sinful shall pass through the fires of death unscathed, though purged to glory, and by faith unto resurrection, as long as they abide in Christ. And such an action of abiding requires no work at all, for God foreknew before the beginning of time who He would predestine to repentance. That the elect of God would be called Saints, set apart for the purposes of God. Forgiven, and eternally cleansed so that we share no longer in the shame of our former ways, but in the promise of eternal glory in Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen! Amen! Amen!

     "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  

     For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

- Romans 5:1-11

New Life

Goodbye old friends who still live with the flesh, I love you, but I cannot be with you now, for I am living for the King. Stop living in your former ways, take up your cross and follow Jesus. Believe and take comfort O weary wanderer. Repent and be baptized sinner, for there is victory!

Opposable Thumbs

So lately I’ve found a new way to express my depravity, and while it may seem miniscule in scope and consequence on the surface, it has both short term and long term consequences that play out quite terribly for God and my-self.  The sin is self-confidence.  And while I will defend to the death our necessity to have confidence in certain situations, and especially to be able to express ourselves to one another with assertion rather than aggression, the bottom line is that self-confidence is born of pride.  The only confidence we should have is in Christ, and we will get to that as I digress.

I will say that it has been nice being so confident in oneself for a change (as I feel I’m generally falling in and out of depression), but the reliance of sin for such a long season of my life makes two weeks of self-confidence kind of useless.  I know the passages that urge me to give myself to Jesus and to Jesus alone, but they aren’t really written on my heart.  So when push comes to shove, my thoughts dwell on how I can manufacture sin without being judged for it.  I really am only pushing the boundaries of sociopathy where my true desires come out in my anger.  In truth, I’m relying on myself and not on God, so I put life on hold so that I can try to enjoy a small pleasure which ultimately means nothing.

Abhorrent to the characteristics of a loving God who calls me to righteousness and faithfully walking according to His commandments my whole life (2 John 1:6), my heart has not grown accustomed to the ways of God as it has rested in the ways of man.  The more I try, the more I lose, and the more plain my depravity is made to me.  But how is it then possible to contain my pride as I put away all these detestable practices that I once journeyed so far in participation?  I’m so happy for my A in my class or my advanced knowledge or reasoning or keeping my room clean or knowledge of scripture when I must understand that these are not things to be proud of any more than I should be proud that I have eyesight or opposable thumbs!

Would I go around proclaiming to the world, “Look! My thumbs oppose my fingers! Isn’t that sooooo cool!!!??? I can pick stuff up with only one hand! Look at me and respect me for I am fortuitous and grandiose in scope and amazement because I have opposable thumbs!”  Yes, you’re right, it’s ridiculous.  And so it is also ridiculous to act out of a new life (that which is given by God, claimed for perfection by Christ, and upheld by His Holy Spirit) and to boast of such deeds.  So you’re living better than before, you should have been living that way all along!  Why suddenly is it important to boast?  To say I have done well or that I deserve praise for doing what I have been able to do all along—but have not done because of my love for disobedience and my hatred towards God—is absurd.

It is Christ who has done well for me and the Lord of Hosts who gives me strength to do well for Him.  So what have I to boast in if not in the cross?  In fact, what can I boast in that is not the cross?  My tears turn me inward, and lead me to desiring satisfaction.  I have no companion to uphold my heart and satisfy my soul, so I try to glean it from self satisfaction and people’s praise.  Then my identity begins to be made by my accomplishments and good deeds.  But do I not see that it is God who has given me good deeds to do?  More than that, that he has predestined my path to walk in the manner of His good works (Eph. 2:10)!  So when I am acting according to His grace, who should be praised?  And whose identity should I take?  What reason to boast have I except in the cross of Christ?  Shall I shout it to the heavens till it is understood by all mankind?  There is none that is worthy of boasting beyond the Cross.  And even that act of sacrifice has been gifted to me beyond my own power.  Just as I never made my thumbs, so could I not possibly imagine how to reconcile my blackened heart before a Holy and righteous God.

Indeed I have lasted these long years waiting to see myself grow up and now that it is happening, I cannot attribute such success to myself.  I can only attribute such growth to God alone.  Let me therefore not fight Him and stand before Him in pride, somehow convinced that I should be praised for my righteous deeds.  Rather than self-confidence, I desire humility to suffer the embodiment of a servant.  Lead me to the cross to commit myself to becoming more and more a living sacrifice so that as I grow into a mature man of God you might bring my heart before you as a failure.

Indeed I count my maturity and righteousness as Christ’s; from Whom it was born and to Whom it gives praise, yet I am no more than a failure in so far as my disobedience and pride has continued (and even will continue) for far too long.  For I have fallen prey to the temptations of this world and have been to God as a son of disobedience (Rom. 11).  Even still I fall and see the darkened wretches of a burning soul.  But alas my soul has been awoken from the darkness by a power no man could uphold.  As does the voice of the meekest branch singing praise to the Lord Almighty resound louder, more powerful, and more beautiful than the most grandiose of branches singing praise to itself, so too does the one who cries out in failure—far above the one who is proud in his successes, seeking consolation in his own achievements—find peace and consolation in the tender arms of the Lord.

A Sick Flo Fo All My G's

See we be livin too much just to please the world

I wanna stop but then when all my sin is unfurled,

I feel I gotta do better, y’know I gotta fight harder

I feel like when I run I gotta finish what I started

But then is it all for God, or is it all for me?

Is my obedience born of love, or this old philosophy?

Where you work real hard and you push yourself to death

Then maybe by your own power have some joy in your steps

I gotta say man, it sounds a lot like Galatians

Where they tried to fix their brokenness with the yoke of circumcision

And maybe that’s what flesh is, not just sin and immorality,

But how we always try to use our good for immortality

I wanna do the best I can so God will view me as a man,

And by some act of greatness stand to function as my own I am?

But who am I to justify my sins before a Holy God?

Can any act of righteousness compare to Jesus on the cross

Second Corinthians five and twenty-one

Says that all my sins were placed upon God’s only Son.

But more than that it’s very clear

that all the reasons for my fears

Were drowned by Him who calls me dear

And washes away all my tears

So in Christ we are righteous, and adopted as sons!

Though my heart would try to tell me that my sins mean I’m done!

Done? I’m done with fightin’ God! Without whom I would fall apart,

Like fig leaves in the garden, they don’t cover up my broken heart

Despair, pain, shame and worry,

Runnin by my-self gets blurry

Until I fall from all that hurry

And shout that you alone are worthy!

Oh Jesus bring me back to you

Your cross is what makes me to move

Not my own life of righteousness,

but yours imputed on my sickness

Breaking down these walls I’ve barred up,

Taking all the sin that’s scarred up

Freeing me to do your will,

To breathe repentance at each ill

That you unhinge this sin and pride

And walk me through, till in your Son, I abide.

The Curious Case of John 15:16

Prayer. I'm curious. Do we know what it is? Do I know what it is? To pray to a Holy God? To the Holy God? Are we praying correctly? Is it enough to just "pray a lot"? I had a friend once tell me that he was praying a lot and nothing was happening. His situation was not changing. Of course many of you right now will say, "I know where you're going with this!" Of course we should not be praying for our situation to change but for our hearts to change, right? But is that what we do? I often find myself so jaded on the idea of prayer that I stop believing in its power. But Jesus says there is power in prayer, specifically for praying to the Father, in Jesus' name.

But let's examine that paragraph of text for a moment. You know the one in John 15 right after Jesus explains that He is the vine and His Father the vine-dresser? I'll put it in blockquotes so you can see it more easily:

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another." (John 15:12-17 ESV)

The first thing we should notice is that the reason that God even gives us a command is so that we would love one another as He loved us. And what kind of love is that? It's sacrificial love. And so if we are doing what Jesus commands, then we are what? Not servants, not slaves, but friends. And isn't it true that when you are striving with a friend for the same goal that you will not feel obligated to work together for the sake of that goal, but rather it is your joy to participate in reaching that goal with your friend? Is the line-man a slave to the quarterback (to use a football analogy)? Is the quarterback in servitude to the kicker? No, though their roles differ in size and scope, the proper use of their talents are necessary to win the game. And we know this because we rejoice equally in winning. Certainly there are players who will benefit more than others, but the team fights together to win because they all celebrate in winning together.

And this is how Jesus defines "friend" in this passage. Because we are working alongside Jesus in loving one another sacrificially as he has shown us to do, we are his friends, not his servants or slaves. So the work that we do for the Kingdom is not blind obedience because "...all that [Jeusus has] heard from [His] Father [He has] made known to [us]." Jesus makes known to us the will of God! We are not blind to the will of God, like the offensive line-man is not blind do the will of the team. Though often all he sees are the angry faces of the d-line, he is focused and determined because he is committed to the goal of the team. Similarly the Christian (though often he will only see the world and its sinfulness) is committed to the goals, workings, righteousness, and love of the Church for God's good purpose.

Think of the team as the church for a moment and Jesus as the head coach. First and foremost, the players do not choose their coach, the coach chooses them. We did not choose Jesus, he has chosen us. Secondly the players do not write the plays, the coach writes the plays. But here's where something really cool happens. The greatness of this coach, who is analogous to Jesus, doesn't sit down and write generic plays that are meant to be executed with a chance of success. Rather, this coach looks at his team, who are his friends because they come willingly for the coach's purpose, not their own, and he invents plays specifically designed  for each player so that they will succeed one hundred percent of the time.

Now there is no football team who can perform like this, but if we could imagine that such a team existed, it would be analogous to the church and the purposes of the church. Because Jesus looks at us, those of us who are no longer under the bondage of slavery, who have been chosen to be friends of God, and He knows our strengths and he knows our weaknesses, He knows our needs and our wants, He knows us inside and out, through and through. And since He is absolutely sovereign, God the Father writes the plays for the church. And each play is perfect, each having a 100% success rate. There is no "chance" in God's sovereignty. If there were chance then we would have a problem with existence. But since God exists, chance does not. And this is what Jesus means when he says that the fruit we bear should abide. It means that when we gain yardage on a play, we don't lose it. We don't give up that yardage because God sustains it. God keeps the church. God maintains His saints. We persevere because God makes us to!

And so we are Jesus' friends because he chose us to be a part of the church and to follow in His example of love so that we can bear fruit so that our fruit should abide so that "whatever [we] ask the Father in [Jesus'] name, he may give [us]." And here's where the prayer comes in. Because the line-man does not pray for a new car when he sets for the hike. He asks for strength to block who he needs to block. He asks for courage to stand His ground when the play gets rough. He asks for wisdom to make well informed quick decisions. He asks for endurance to make it through the quarter. He'll even ask God to be with His team-mates, to keep them fit for action and not wavering in their work for the team. If he stops looking to the prize, if he stops fighting, or if he starts working out of obligation instead of out of a common purpose with the coach, then the player will become fatigued and frustrated. He will fight his coach instead of the opposing team, he will bring others down with him, he will demoralize the team and without delay, the coach will see the lack of focus and insubordination and the coach will take him out.

Likewise, and here's where it gets rough, the Christian does not pray for a better situation. He does not pray that his living situation will change, he does not pray that some girl will like him, he does not pray that he can sin and get away with it. Rather the Christian prays for the armor of God.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (Ephesians 6:10-20 ESV)

 Note the extreme emphasis on spiritual warfare here. And when you get down to verse 18 where it says that we are to pray, it says more than just to pray a lot. It says to pray "...at all times in the Spirit ... with all prayer and supplication .... keep alert with all perseverance ... making supplication for all the saints." These four prepositional phrases give us the basic framework of whose authority we pray with and what we pray for: How often do we pray? Always. By whose authority? The Holy Spirit dwelling in us. For what purpose? So that we keep alert with all perseverance. For what do we pray? For all the saints; yourself, yes, but for the church as well.

Here's the big picture: Because we're chosen by God, we are to love others the way Christ loved us and gave himself up for us on the cross. And since God has given us this desire to love others, we have become a friend of God the Father through Jesus' death and resurrection. So we participate in the body of believers (that being the church) to bear fruit that will last. So when we pray we are praying for that very thing. Our prayers are for the eternal purposes of God, not for our immediate gratification. Often our prayers will just be to keep us focused on our eternal inheritance with Jesus, like the line-man focused on winning. It's when we stop praying for the Kingdom and start praying for ourselves that we become angry and frustrated with our situations. It is in these times where we bring the whole church down with our reviling and complaining. It is in these times that we fall into sin and God chooses to take us out of the game to discipline us so that we will be ready to go back in and be useful to God for His good purposes.

So now when we ask the Father for something in Jesus' name, we should be convinced that God will provide what we need. Notice when a pastor prays before he gives a message; he doesn't ask that people would be comfortable with His words. He does not ask for the time to go by quickly so he can eat lunch sooner. He doesn't beg God for something unless He is convinced by the Spirit that he or the congregation need it. What is it that the pastor will often pray for? He'll pray for humility to speak the words clearly, for the Holy Spirit to move the hearts of his parishioners, for grace in his teaching as he is not perfect at speaking, etc.... He prays for the things of the Kingdom! Remember, Jesus has shown us the will of God so we know, just as our pastor knows, what to pray for.

And this is how we should pray daily: Constantly repenting of our earthly desires, turning to let God put His armor on His saints, whom He has chosen to bear His good fruit, that He will persevere so that we may have the freedom to ask of the Father in the name of Christ, Jesus our Lord and Saviour, knowing that He has given us the power of the Holy Spirit to receive the gifts of the Kingdom for His good purpose. Amen. Amen. Amen.

More Than a Conqueror

So looking back at a post in October, I recognized somewhat of a pattern in my life. I guess I should be more specific. I've recognized a good pattern in my life. It's far too easy for me to see all the poor patterns, creature comforts, or addictions that I conform to in everyday life. But out of what seems to be nowhere, I'm seeing something that I've never seen before.

Back during last summer I thought for sure that I was going to transfer to a 4 year university somewhere in the mid-west and study engineering there before coming home and finding a job. My dad was encouraging it, and I thought for sure it was the best idea for me to have the best career. But as the fall semester started moving along, that passion for having the best career and going to the best school and making the most money just started to become unappealing to me. I didn't understand it at the time but I really struggled with my course-load through October and November.

There was, however, proof of some amazing insight that I had on October 3rd 2010, and I wrote it here: http://perseveranceotsaints.blogspot.com/2010/10/growing-up.html. And after that I found that my heart was drawn more and more towards CSULB, and towards my friends and family in Long Beach. Particularly those friends that I had made at Bethany.

The miracle that I believe occurred was me applying and getting into CSULB for the Spring semester. I mean I didn't think my grades were good enough for the engineering program, I applied at the last minute, I wouldn't have known about it if God hadn't provided a counselor to tell me to apply that very day, and I would have applied to a bunch of other schools, wasting hundreds of dollars in app fees had I not been directed by the Lord to log onto "mycsulb" and notice that I was accepted to the university on the very same night when I was planning on sending out those other applications.

So here I am, wisdom teeth gone, and one more week of work and freedom left before starting classes at CSULB, and I can't say that there is any part of me that deserves credit for where I'm at today. Don't get me wrong, it brings tears to my eyes to hear my mother tell me how proud of me she is, but I didn't do this. If anything, I failed, and failed, and then failed some more. But despite all my failures, despite all my problems, God has provided for me. Not because I wanted Him to, or because he wants me to make a lot of money, but to show how awesome He is.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly places with every spiritual blessing." - Ephesians 1:3

I do not see my glory, I see only the glory of a holy, perfect, and righteous God. Only He would know how happy this would make me. Only He would know how to bring my heart to its knees. Only He knows my inner parts, for he has known me from the beginning of time, before the foundations of the earth.

So what is this pattern I speak of? Simply that God takes care of me. When I was in high school, he saved me from an LSD overdose; when I was playing the part in a bad relationship, He pulled me away from my sin and set my eyes on His throne; He showed me the poorest of the poor in eastern africa. He showed me broken families, refugees from war torn villages, children who were once soldiers; forced to kill their parents and watch their siblings be raped. He opened up his word and showed me the true gospel. He showed me that his hand is more tender towards the failures of this world than to the self-esteemed righteous ones. He took me out of debt and brought me back to school. He saved my father's soul and now we talk about His Son regularly. He brought me to Bethany and taught me to lead others. He is good, my Lord, my Shepherd, my first love, and He continues to love me and drag me back to my knees again and again in repentance to pursue a loving God who has pursued me through all my failures and wrongdoings.

And all this so that I can look back on my life and say without a doubt that the only consistently good thing in my life since I was born has been the providence of God. It amazes me that some (particularly those that follow a pelagian or semi-pelagian view of scripture) would argue that God is not absolutely sovereign over all things. I see no way to deny that God, through his providence, has not made all these things to happen for His glory. I see no way to deny my election into the Kingdom of God, and I see no reason that I would want to. For this pattern to cease would be my death, but life is waiting for me, life everlasting. To live forever with the one who sustains me and draws me closer to Him. And so now draw me closer O God! And have me to follow all the more. I am yours and you are mine. Forever will I worship, forever will I praise Your holy name! Amen! Amen! Amen!

may Your name...

It is easy to be angry. It is easy to speak in riddles, to laugh and curse and jest in ways that seem to comfort. But no comfort is found in evil words or evil thoughts. And my frustration leads to no greater a sin than that which is committed against me. How easy is loneliness to breach my heart when hurt falls so sudden. And how sullen is my face, even in the light of such great promises. "I will never leave you nor forsake you..." the words whisper through my head and the holiness of the Most High is known even in the darkest corners of the earth. "Day unto day utters speech, and night unto night shows knowledge." What can I say to a God whose name is to be hallowed above all other names? How can I be angry, how can I be so self-righteous?

And yet still, anger is easy. It's much easier than love, as the Switchfoot song says, to fall to the devices of man; to turn to creature comforts rather than the might of a loving Father. What blessing can i justify for myself that I can hold so bleakly out of the reach of my brothers and sisters? Oh and should I play favorites? To accept the burden of pleasing some at the expense of my calling? And what does argument do except intensify my love of my own pride, my own position.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." So do I have any right to my anger? No, let my tears be great and my mourning increase for my sins are terrible. Indeed, let there be forgiveness on my lips as my King has first forgiven me. Let me then, forgive those in my midst, and I pray they would forgive me. Oh that Your name would be known, O LORD!!! And may your love be shown. For there is no love without sacrifice, and there is no sacrifice without burden. So teach me to carry the cross that you have for me to carry, and leave me not to carry it hence alone. But rather as your name is blessed in my soul, give me strength to bless your name to those whom You love. That I may love them also. And remove, O LORD, the sin from my heart. Replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh. Renew within me a new heart, a heart of love, of joy, of peace, of patience, and continued perseverance for Your name to be lifted high.

O LORD, may Your name be lifted high.

                      May Your name be lifted high!

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

In timing with the New Year I have decided to map out the calendar year by its months according to how my brain imagines them when i close my eyes. To begin, when I close my eyes and think of the year, I imagine each month like any wall calendar, except the pages run together and form a giant multi-colored abstract loop. The colors are sensitive to their location in the year and will often vary slightly, but stay generally the same. Below I will outline some basics about each month as I see them.

1. January
Color: Light Purple
Food: Leftovers
Beer: Samuel Adams Winter Lager
This isn't my favorite month of the year, but I must begin with it. Despite its significance of being at the beginning of the year, it really only fosters a sense of stale pleasure to me. It's always back to school and back to work and everyone's gotta diet and tell you about it and hold it over your head. I'm sure I'll be doing the same thing in some strange way, perhaps running more, or trying to wake up earlier. Especially as I start my year at CSULB, perhaps it will be a tad more enjoyable than most years, but I think, for some reason, it's still gonna be January.


"All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun."
 - Ecclesiastes 1:8-9


2. February
Color: Dark Blue
Food: Homemade Chicken, Rice, and Vegetable Soup.
Beer: Bitburger (Belgian White)
And then just before winter's end there's that month that is too short to often even be noticed. I always seem to be short of cash this month, and probably because my bills are still due on the same day of the next month, and yet there are quite a few days less. For someone who would prefer to have more days in the year, taking three out just isn't a good idea. Man this is more depressing than I thought it would be.


"He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever."
 - Psalm 111:5


3. March
Color: Turquoise
Food: Linguine al Arrabbiata
Beer: BJ's Jeremiah Red
By now the routines have set in and life gets a bit more interesting. The coolness of winter is starting to die and I'm beginning to notice the successes of that diet I started two months ago. I'm looking forward to Easter, and spring break, and mid-terms being over. Maybe I'll make ten lbs of pasta and invite my friends over.


"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God."
 - Romans 8:19-21


4: April:
Color: Light, Forest Green
Food: Steak and Potatoes
Beer: Stone IPA
Finally some heat! I'll be looking forward to a couple of cold ones and a huge steak basking in the sun in my grandmother's garden at a family bbq after celebrating the resurrection of my Lord. Laughter, joy, friends and family as new meaning is given to the word communion every year.


“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."
 - Matthew 13:44


5. May
Color: Deep Green
Food: Grilled Chicken Salad
Beer: Stella Artois
Feeling the intensity of the school semester with finals soon, and the desire to be at the beach instead of in a library becomes all the more enticing. I'll push myself too hard this month, but it will feel good and you couldn't stop me if you tried.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."
 - Hebrews 12:1


6. June
Color: Sky Blue
Food: Double Bacon Cheeseburger, xtra Pickles, Fries, Pop
Drink: Coca-Cola
Airplanes, beaches, waves, cold ones, anticipation for the fun of the summer months ahead, and the summer class that I surely signed up for...


"...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
 - Hebrews 12:2




7. July
Color: Bright Yellow
Food: Apocalypse Dog
Drink: Hen-Dubs Root Beer
Friends and worship nights, bike rides to long beach, long days, movie nights, stars, explosives, fires, and bbqs. In a word: SUMMER!


"Oh sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth!
Sing to the LORD, bless his name;
tell of his salvation from day to day."
 - Psalm 96:1-2



8. August
Color: Yellow Orange
Food: Beer Roasted Chicken
Beer: Peroni
HOT!!! And by now, I'm darn tired of it. Long boring summer days start to drain my creativity and the depression sets in. The end of all summers is at hand, and as bad as my heart doesn't want it to leave, you'll finally hear me complaining about how much I can't wait to be back in school.


"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."
 - Galatians 6:9


9. September
Color: Red
Food: Nachos
Beer: Killians Irish Red
Go! Go! Go! By far the busiest month of the year, and still hot to boot! At least it is in so-cal. With so many church activities, classes starting, and I can never seem to manage to stay on top of it all. Oh well, the good months are coming...


"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."
 - Ephesians 6:10-12


10. October
Color: Orange
Food: Pasta, Bread-sticks, n' Pizza!
Beer: BJ's Pumpkin Ale
You can smell it, and it smells amazing! There is nothing like the smell of October, it is my favorite month of the year, and not just cuz my birthday is in it. I love the shorter, cooler days, the midterms don't seem all that bad, and all my friends seem like they want to give one last hoorah to the world before being sucked into the joyful terrors of the holiday season.


"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
 - Ephesians 5:1-2


11. November
Color: Brown
Food: Turkey, stuffing, mashed taters!
Beer: Alaskan Amber
A good mix between October and December, except it seems like everyone's always sick and it isn't until Thanksgiving when we all realize that Christmas is coming soon.


"For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer."
 - 1 Timothy 4:4-5


12. December
Color: White
Food: Lamb, Carrots, Cookies n' stuff!
Beer: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (it tastes like Christmas!!!)
The year always ends with tons of rushing around and then Wham! It's Christmas! Turkey, cookies, lamb, cookies, potatoes, cookies... did I mention cookies? :) I'll probably spend the day after Christmas just lounging around the house being lazy and writing some silly blog...


"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this."
 - Isaiah 9:6-7


Oh well, that's how I see it. Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy New Year!!!

Growing Up

Have you ever watched Hook? Y'know the movie with the middle aged man playing kid? I would lie to you if that lifestyle didn't look somewhat attractive to me. The phrase "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us Kid" never affected me like it has since I am older and I can't just whine and get everything I want.

Nevertheless, I have a laundry list of wants. And I'd say most of these things are noble wants. For example, I want to get married to the right girl and move out of my parents house one day. I want to be a good provider for my future family. I want to be able to take care of my parents and distant relatives and even fellow church members. I want the ability to donate to charity. I want my nieces to get a good education and follow Jesus Christ in how they live their lives. I want my sister to know the Lord.

And most of my friends would say: "This is an admirable list of things to want." But if I look around, they don't seem to be happening as quickly as I would (yes that's right) WANT them to. Alas the concept of being satisfied in something other than my wants becomes immediately essential. But then I must be able to differentiate. See there are some things that I have absolutely no control over. Like my sister accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior is something I have zero control over. Then there are things that I have less control over. Like my niece's education. But then there are some things that God has given to me so that I might prosper them.

What a strange concept huh? I mean here we have the God of the universe who made everything and is in control of everything, and yet He charges us saying that "...we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which He has prepared beforehand that we might walk in them" (eph. 2:10). Well this is striking to me because according to this, God really does have an opinion of what I do with my life. Suddenly those things in life that I have some control over aren't optional, they are now ways in which I can worship, or deny worship to my Creator.

In the church we call this stewardship, and we often reference the parable of the talents (which is a great parable). But I have two rather depressing, yet eye-opening anecdotes to share that helped put this idea of making what God wants as most important in my life. The first example is analogous, and the second dealt directly with a certain issue.

First I was at work and the girls Mackenzie and Lacey (7 and 6 respectively) were there being 'watched' by those of us working, namely my aunt (their grandmother), my cousin (their mother), and me. Now I had already told them once to stop fighting, and I generally don't have to ask more than once, but sure enough about ten minutes later they were fighting again, and right in front of me. So I put them both on time out (btw, I've been instructed by one who shall remain nameless *cough*holly*cough* that time-out is not the best way to handle these situations, so I have a lot to learn, but I'm getting off topic) and they were none too happy about the whole thing. After time out was over I talked to them one at a time and had them tell me why they were on time out. Now Mackenzie was very good about the whole thing, telling me it was because they were fighting and that they're not supposed to fight, and she apologized to her sister. But when I went to talk to Lacey, she didn't want to discuss it (mind you Lacey is very shy). When I kept asking her she eventually told me that she can't stop fighting with her sister. I asked her why and she told me it's because she's been fighting with her sister all her life and there's no way that they'll ever stop. Well I told her how my sister and I don't fight any more and I said something very profound, yet very convicting. I said, "I know it's difficult and hard to see the end at times, but sooner or later you have to grow up."

As the last five words rolled off my tongue it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have to grow up. Ok, real deep, right? Well when you're 27, living at home, and struggling to make ends meet, something small like that can be pretty convicting. Especially when coupled with the second example which occurred only a few days earlier.

I was at dinner with my Aunt Charleen who is very old and has a difficult time moving around. She also has a hard time making friends so she is very lonely. On top of this, she's very emotional and is constantly having anxiety attacks about her "immanent" death. Well she was asking me about school and where I would transfer and the talk moved to me moving out of state to study (as this is something my dad has been encouraging me to look into). But as soon as I said that, she immediately said "No!" And proceeded to start crying saying "You can't leave me."

Now maybe I'm just a sap, maybe I feel bad because her husband died many years ago and she's been a widow for some time. Maybe I feel bad because her brother and best friend, my Uncle Bob, died only a year and a half ago. Or maybe, maybe I'm just growing up and starting to see what life is from God's perspective instead of my own. Whatever the reasoning, I think, unless something very drastic changes, I'd like to stay here and study if at all possible.

I think somewhere in the search for a great school I got caught up in the lie that I need to go to the best school possible or I won't be successful. But truthfully after I graduate, no matter where I go, I'm still only relying on the Lord to provide for me a job and a wife, and children, and the things that He wants me to have for His glory.

And praise the Lord, CSULB is a great school with a great ME program. I should have no shame of such a degree. But what if I leave and I miss seeing my sister start coming to church? What if I leave and i miss seeing a handful of my friends getting married. What if I leave and Mackenzie and Lacey don't have anyone to read them "Little House on the Prarie" anymore? What if I leave so that I can get what I want, and miss so many ways that God has given me to bless His kingdom right here in Long Beach? What if I leave and my Aunt Charleen passes away?

I love this city. I love Bethany. I love Pursuit. And I love my family. If I can study and live and love and continue to really grow in the Lord with all those things surrounding me, then I will. Not because I'm afraid or scared or timid, or worried; but because sooner or later I have to grow up and start living as a man who is not obsessed with his own glory, but as a man who is obsessed with the glory of God.

Satisfied in Christ

The term "satisfied" is used quite a bit in this day and age to indicate the gaining of pleasure. We please our mouths and stomachs with good food and we say we have been satisfied. We please our eyes and our wit by watching entertaining television and movies, and we say say we are satisfied. We even please our minds with good discussion and we once again claim satisfaction. The amount of things that we claim to be satisfied by these days appears to capture such a large spectrum of human life that I find it almost surprising that we are not constantly satisfied. For example: To think of walking anywhere is a thing of the past! We now find great comfort and satisfaction in our automobiles, trains and planes, and when we do walk, it is often with the most comfortable pair of shoes money can buy.

Now I am not interested in being caught up in an argument for the legality of asceticism, but when I see a society immersed in all the pleasure of the world, I often wonder why there is still depression, sorrow and loss. And I'm fully aware that there are some people who have very little and cannot experience all that most of us "suburbanites" can experience. But then what do we make of depression anxiety and sorrow? Are they then functions of how much pleasure one can purchase? Certainly not! For some who have nothing find great joy in their simple life, while some who have great fortunes are constantly depressed. Solomon writes of this sadness in Ecclesiastes when he speaks of how he had very much, yet all was "vanity":

"So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun."

(Ecclesiastes 2:9-11 ESV)

But again does this point to some form of religious asceticism? The austere have often felt that the best way to live religiously is through "rigorous self-denial [and] extreme abstinence"(1). I do not doubt that such a lifestyle can cause someone greater care for the simpler things in life, certainly a more righteous way of living is to most anyones benefit. But does this solve the problem? Unfortunately even the extremely religious find that their desire for asceticism is often based on a greater desire for austerity or abstinence.

A pastor in Uganda once told me that he loved fasting to the point where it was addicting. I don't believe this pastor realized that he wasn't worshiping God through the fasting, but he was worshiping the fasting! And yet Jesus gives us specific ways in which we are to fast: “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." (Matthew 6:16-18 ESV) The point is not that my friend was in sin for fasting, it is that while he felt he was being good, he was relying on his religious practice to bring him closer to God rather than fasting out of a response of love towards God.

So I say these things to present the passage that I would like to discuss in some detail. It is a passage I have taught on once to the college group "Pursuit" that I attend, and i believe it has much to say regarding the issue of satisfaction, particularly where we need to find our satisfaction.

        "Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink, or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are a shadow of the things to come, but the substance belongs to Christ. Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God. 

If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— 'Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch' (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

(Colossians 2:16-23 ESV)

In the interest of not pulling the text all the way out of context I will explain the "Therefore..." from vv 16 if you studious ones have not already read the previous verses for proper context. Firstly this is a letter from Paul "To the saints and faithful brothers in Christ at Colossae" (ch 1:2), and we have to understand from reading the entire letter that one of the main themes in this book is showing how Christ has secured redemption for his people by his death and resurrection. Now Paul becomes very specific throughout the book, but especially in chapter one, on exactly what the work of Christ looked like. He paints this very theological picture because he recognizes that there is some sort of false teaching in the church and Paul addresses a good bulk of that false teaching in this passage. So the "Therefore..." is pointing directly to a type of causality that Paul often uses where he says because of "this," you should do "this." So as we read this passage, we must recognize that the false teaching he starts describing here is contrary to the teachings of the work of Christ. This seems an almost elementary observation, however I would like to make the point that the main reason that Paul addressed the issue here was to make it obvious that Christ has indeed triumphed greatly over these false teachings.

So Paul starts the rebuke with the command that one should not allow another to judge them in certain areas of the law. Specifically he speaks of food, drink, Jewish festivals, and Sabbaths, and I believe this tells us a bit of what the false teachers were emphasizing; most likely some form of religious asceticism. I find it amazing in todays culture how many people will seek to live their life with some sort of religious control. It is insane to me how many diet trends and fads there are in this world that focus on vanity and outward beauty. I always see about five or six signs per day just for the "Lap-band," which apparently is a "get-thin-quick" scheme. Now being someone who could stand to lose a few pounds, I won't lie that such an ad has stood out to me. However I'm reminded of this passage and I realize that I'm letting a billboard judge me!

See, the world says: "You need to be thin, you need a new diet, you need nicer clothes, you need to smell better, you need to be married. Do you have that great job yet? Are you making enough money? Don't you know that it's important to look good, fit in, and look as good as your favorite celebrity? If you don't then how will you be able to commit yourself to gossiping about others who are fatter than you, dumber than you, less successful than you?"

See Paul understands that when you let someone else judge you, your general response is to judge others accordingly. We mirror what we see in others as our examples for how we should live. If we look up to celebrities, we will model celebrities, if we look up to religion, we will model religiosity, if we look up to our parents, we will model our parents. So when we become judgmental, it's usually because we've allowed something "important" to enter into our minds and hearts that is judging us. Then in our despair to try to match the culture so that we are viewed by our "mentors" in a good light (though failing miserably at doing so) we turn on our fellow man and choose to judge him with the same severity with which we were judged. This becomes a vicious cycle whose utter end is despair and misery.

Judging others aside for a moment, Paul claims that these rules are "...a shadow of things to come..." and I believe that he is inferring what John will write in Revelation 21:4-5, which has the Lamb of God saying "behold I will make all things new." The idea here being that God will make everything perfect one day; hence, the whole of the law will be fulfilled. But how? And the answer is in the second half of ch. 2:17: "...but the substance belongs to Christ."

See doing these things is not bad. Far from it, otherwise the law and the prophets would not have been so strict about following very precisely God's perfect law. But if you follow God's law out of selfish ambition, you aren't following God's law! And this is what Paul is saying: Jesus is the substance of the law! And this changes everything. Suddenly we are no longer under condemnation as before (Rom. 8:1). And it's not that we should stop seeking righteousness, but we need to realize something: we cannot be righteous! "None is righteous, no not one!" (Romans 3:10). We are utterly, totally, and completely depraved, yet for some reason man has taken to the belief that he can earn his own salvation. THIS is a false gospel.

This is why Paul writes "Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom the whole body, nourished and knit together through its joints and ligaments, grows with a growth that is from God" (Col. 2:18-19). Paul insists that when you put something else above Christ, even if it is seemingly a good thing, that it is sin. The bottom line is that when you hold on to the world's ideas about what is the best way to fit in, or the best way to be good, you are essentially cutting Christ off at the head. Suddenly we are doing something that isn't just wrong, but it is endangering the very faith that we hold on to.

Now some of you may think that this is not that big of a deal. And perhaps not if you are doing this alone and outside of the body of Christ. But for those who are actively involved in the church, this form of false teaching, this "leaven of the pharisees" as Jesus puts it, is pervasive to the point of destroying not just your own relationship with Jesus, but others as well. What we have today is a Christian culture where after going into the church, we tend to look around and wonder what others think of us. Our hearts are so used to the way the world judges us that we view the church judging us in the same way.

At Pursuit recently Dave has been going over the concept of what people often call "being single for Christ." I suppose there is some good in that, but Dave was good to caution us that it's not about being married or single per-say, but that our hearts be devoted to Christ. See our culture can so worship the concept of marriage, that it has utterly raped its meaning. Why Christians will be so strongly polarized in opposition to just gay marriage is beyond me. I SAY BE OPPOSED TO MARRIAGE WITHOUT JESUS!!! There is enough pain, hurt, divorce, strife, and ruin on this earth built around a worldly view of love and marriage, that the same concepts as before concerning asceticism become exponential when talking about marriage: "Is she cute enough? Will it last? Can he provide? Where's his degree? Will she satisfy me? Will he hurt me? How many children should we have? Won't it be perfect when it finally happens?"

NO!!!

There is one question you should ask yourself before you get married, (or before you do anything really): "Is Jesus the center of everything in my life?" We have this fascination with finding something in this world to satisfy our woes, to make right our wrongs, to fill fully our despairs, to charge our passions, to change our situations so that we can be more satisfied in those things. But what happens? NOTHING SATISFIES!!! Solomon likens it to eating ash. It will give you no joy, it will not make right all the evil you've done, it will not fill you life with meaning of any substance, it will fail to inspire, and it will only change your situation enough so that you can wish that it was different again. Paul puts it this way (and I'll paraphrase) "[Why, if you're a Christian saved by the blood of Christ, do you still seek earthly things? Why are human teachings so important to you? Don't you know that all these things will perish? These things can have the appearance of making you look very attractive and very "righteous"] but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh."

So then, what gives satisfaction? What gives joy? What makes the mortal sinner right before a holy God? What fills the soul of despair? What gives us passion? How do we change?

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

(Colossians 3:1-4 ESV)

Paul tells us to set our minds on the things that are above, particularly Jesus Christ. This is a call to action! For us to set aside our earthly desires and seek Christ above all things requires that we do not endure the judgmental ways of the world, but to look instead to Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith so that we can run the race with endurance looking to the prize as Christ.

So then we do not live for ourselves, but we live for Christ, to do His will so that He might be glorified in His bride the church! Is it bad to be married? Is it bad to be single? Is it bad to eat? Is it bad to not eat? Is it bad to honor the Sabbath, to not murder, to listen to your parents? No, on none of these things is it bad as long as everything we do is done with Christ in mind as the one who strengthens us to do them so that we do not receive the glory for our accomplishments, but when they are done for Christ, then it is Him who receives the glory.

The answer is that Christ is the only one that man can be eternally satisfied in. Christ will give you joy, and true joy at that. Christ died for you, so you now are dead to the world and your righteousness is hidden with Christ in God. He fills your dead soul with His Holy Spirit and gives you everlasting life. It is the Word of God on the life and work of Jesus that gives us the inspiration to live a life according to His grace, mercy and peace. Christ is the one who changes the heart, so that no matter what our circumstance, no matter how much doubt, no matter how long we are single, no matter how much we wish we could have it our way, the only way we are satisfied eternally is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen, Amen, Amen!!!


(1) http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/asceticism

For God's Glory (read this first)

If anyone knows me, they know that I enjoy writing quite a bit. Myspace blogs never cut it and Facebook notes are just getting old. I find that this medium is superior for what I wish to talk about, that being theology. I do feel a great desire to write a book, and so most of the things that I will post will be central to that end. However, I do not feel that I yet have enough knowledge or free time available to pen all that I want to say into anything definitive. So I have chosen to write here in the time being, and I want to introduce this blog with a bit about the name of the blog: "Perseverance of the Saints."

First of all, let me say that it is not some witty phrase that I have invented. In fact it is the fifth point in the acronym TULIP, which altogether are: Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. While I hold strongly to each of these points, I believe a great deal of what I see God trying to communicate to His people in the Bible to be found in the idea of the Perseverance of the Saints.

The basic concept (of these five points) is as follows: Man was dead in sin and indebted to God for our lack of ability to be rid of sin on our own. But God sent His Son to take the punishment in our place, on the cross, through the shedding of innocent blood. Jesus Christ gave up His life for His kingdom. He did this so that we now might have adoption as sons and become, by God's grace, fellow heirs of the kingdom of God. Now this is not based on anything we can do to earn it, but based purely on God's sovereign choice to have compassion on whom he will have compassion, and have mercy on whom he will have mercy. So that through God's grace, we have faith to believe, and furthermore, we become vessels of mercy so that God's glory might be seen by all the world. Now there are some who will not repent and of whom God will not extend grace, but rather justified wrath for their sinfulness and disobedience and it is not for man to test God on this matter: "But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, 'Why have you made me like this?' Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?" (Romans 9:20-21 ESV). For Christ will come to judge both the living and the dead, and for those who do not repent and are not baptized, then they will be cast out of the kingdom of God. But for those whom God makes Holy, he will never forsake and will never leave them to despair.


For God makes many great promises to His chosen faithful. Promises that include filling us with His Holy Spirit, keeping us till the very end, and ultimately making us holy (or saints) as Christ is holy. And this God does not out of necessity, but out of his own great mercy and love. God's wrath was poured on His Son, so that we can worship Him forever in His holiness. God promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us, for His promises stand true forever. This is the Perseverance of the Saints.

You may say to me, Eddie, that just sounds like a bunch of bible stuff. And I'll say it is. The bible is the single most important book you'll ever read if you actually read it. And so I have chosen to write these things to give God glory, for he deserves all glory, and honor, and praise. I pray that you will read what I write, and that you will comment on these posts. My goal is not to argue with a bunch of people here. But if you wish to discuss something I say, then I promise to give you full voice to ask questions and express doubts, and I will do my best to be as loving as possible in the way I respond.

The following is one of my favorite authors, and I think he sums up greatly why I think this blog will be so important. 

"It is a great thing to begin the Christian life by believing good solid doctrine. Some people have received twenty different "gospels" in as many years; how many more they will accept before they get to their journey's end, it would be difficult to predict. I thank God that He early taught me the gospel, and I have been so perfectly satisfied with it, that I do not want to know any other. Constant change of creed is sure loss. If a tree has to be taken up two or three times a year, you will not need to build a very large loft in which to store the apples. When people are always shifting their doctrinal principles, they are not likely to bring forth much fruit to the glory of God. It is good for young believers to begin with a firm hold upon those great fundamental doctrines which the Lord has taught in His Word. Why, if I believed what some preach about the temporary, trumpery salvation which only lasts for a time, I would scarcely be at all grateful for it; but when I know that those whom God saves He saves with an everlasting salvation, when I know that He gives to them an everlasting righteousness, when I know that He settles them on an everlasting foundation of everlasting love, and that He will bring them to His everlasting kingdom, oh, then I do wonder, and I am astonished that such a blessing as this should ever have been given to me!

'Pause, my soul! adore, and wonder!

Ask, 'Oh, why such love to me?'

Grace hath put me in the number

Of the Saviour's family:

Hallelujah!

Thanks, eternal thanks, to Thee!'"

- Charles H. Spurgeon's opening paragraph in "A Defense of Calvinism"