Opposable Thumbs

So lately I’ve found a new way to express my depravity, and while it may seem miniscule in scope and consequence on the surface, it has both short term and long term consequences that play out quite terribly for God and my-self.  The sin is self-confidence.  And while I will defend to the death our necessity to have confidence in certain situations, and especially to be able to express ourselves to one another with assertion rather than aggression, the bottom line is that self-confidence is born of pride.  The only confidence we should have is in Christ, and we will get to that as I digress.

I will say that it has been nice being so confident in oneself for a change (as I feel I’m generally falling in and out of depression), but the reliance of sin for such a long season of my life makes two weeks of self-confidence kind of useless.  I know the passages that urge me to give myself to Jesus and to Jesus alone, but they aren’t really written on my heart.  So when push comes to shove, my thoughts dwell on how I can manufacture sin without being judged for it.  I really am only pushing the boundaries of sociopathy where my true desires come out in my anger.  In truth, I’m relying on myself and not on God, so I put life on hold so that I can try to enjoy a small pleasure which ultimately means nothing.

Abhorrent to the characteristics of a loving God who calls me to righteousness and faithfully walking according to His commandments my whole life (2 John 1:6), my heart has not grown accustomed to the ways of God as it has rested in the ways of man.  The more I try, the more I lose, and the more plain my depravity is made to me.  But how is it then possible to contain my pride as I put away all these detestable practices that I once journeyed so far in participation?  I’m so happy for my A in my class or my advanced knowledge or reasoning or keeping my room clean or knowledge of scripture when I must understand that these are not things to be proud of any more than I should be proud that I have eyesight or opposable thumbs!

Would I go around proclaiming to the world, “Look! My thumbs oppose my fingers! Isn’t that sooooo cool!!!??? I can pick stuff up with only one hand! Look at me and respect me for I am fortuitous and grandiose in scope and amazement because I have opposable thumbs!”  Yes, you’re right, it’s ridiculous.  And so it is also ridiculous to act out of a new life (that which is given by God, claimed for perfection by Christ, and upheld by His Holy Spirit) and to boast of such deeds.  So you’re living better than before, you should have been living that way all along!  Why suddenly is it important to boast?  To say I have done well or that I deserve praise for doing what I have been able to do all along—but have not done because of my love for disobedience and my hatred towards God—is absurd.

It is Christ who has done well for me and the Lord of Hosts who gives me strength to do well for Him.  So what have I to boast in if not in the cross?  In fact, what can I boast in that is not the cross?  My tears turn me inward, and lead me to desiring satisfaction.  I have no companion to uphold my heart and satisfy my soul, so I try to glean it from self satisfaction and people’s praise.  Then my identity begins to be made by my accomplishments and good deeds.  But do I not see that it is God who has given me good deeds to do?  More than that, that he has predestined my path to walk in the manner of His good works (Eph. 2:10)!  So when I am acting according to His grace, who should be praised?  And whose identity should I take?  What reason to boast have I except in the cross of Christ?  Shall I shout it to the heavens till it is understood by all mankind?  There is none that is worthy of boasting beyond the Cross.  And even that act of sacrifice has been gifted to me beyond my own power.  Just as I never made my thumbs, so could I not possibly imagine how to reconcile my blackened heart before a Holy and righteous God.

Indeed I have lasted these long years waiting to see myself grow up and now that it is happening, I cannot attribute such success to myself.  I can only attribute such growth to God alone.  Let me therefore not fight Him and stand before Him in pride, somehow convinced that I should be praised for my righteous deeds.  Rather than self-confidence, I desire humility to suffer the embodiment of a servant.  Lead me to the cross to commit myself to becoming more and more a living sacrifice so that as I grow into a mature man of God you might bring my heart before you as a failure.

Indeed I count my maturity and righteousness as Christ’s; from Whom it was born and to Whom it gives praise, yet I am no more than a failure in so far as my disobedience and pride has continued (and even will continue) for far too long.  For I have fallen prey to the temptations of this world and have been to God as a son of disobedience (Rom. 11).  Even still I fall and see the darkened wretches of a burning soul.  But alas my soul has been awoken from the darkness by a power no man could uphold.  As does the voice of the meekest branch singing praise to the Lord Almighty resound louder, more powerful, and more beautiful than the most grandiose of branches singing praise to itself, so too does the one who cries out in failure—far above the one who is proud in his successes, seeking consolation in his own achievements—find peace and consolation in the tender arms of the Lord.

A Sick Flo Fo All My G's

See we be livin too much just to please the world

I wanna stop but then when all my sin is unfurled,

I feel I gotta do better, y’know I gotta fight harder

I feel like when I run I gotta finish what I started

But then is it all for God, or is it all for me?

Is my obedience born of love, or this old philosophy?

Where you work real hard and you push yourself to death

Then maybe by your own power have some joy in your steps

I gotta say man, it sounds a lot like Galatians

Where they tried to fix their brokenness with the yoke of circumcision

And maybe that’s what flesh is, not just sin and immorality,

But how we always try to use our good for immortality

I wanna do the best I can so God will view me as a man,

And by some act of greatness stand to function as my own I am?

But who am I to justify my sins before a Holy God?

Can any act of righteousness compare to Jesus on the cross

Second Corinthians five and twenty-one

Says that all my sins were placed upon God’s only Son.

But more than that it’s very clear

that all the reasons for my fears

Were drowned by Him who calls me dear

And washes away all my tears

So in Christ we are righteous, and adopted as sons!

Though my heart would try to tell me that my sins mean I’m done!

Done? I’m done with fightin’ God! Without whom I would fall apart,

Like fig leaves in the garden, they don’t cover up my broken heart

Despair, pain, shame and worry,

Runnin by my-self gets blurry

Until I fall from all that hurry

And shout that you alone are worthy!

Oh Jesus bring me back to you

Your cross is what makes me to move

Not my own life of righteousness,

but yours imputed on my sickness

Breaking down these walls I’ve barred up,

Taking all the sin that’s scarred up

Freeing me to do your will,

To breathe repentance at each ill

That you unhinge this sin and pride

And walk me through, till in your Son, I abide.

The Curious Case of John 15:16

Prayer. I'm curious. Do we know what it is? Do I know what it is? To pray to a Holy God? To the Holy God? Are we praying correctly? Is it enough to just "pray a lot"? I had a friend once tell me that he was praying a lot and nothing was happening. His situation was not changing. Of course many of you right now will say, "I know where you're going with this!" Of course we should not be praying for our situation to change but for our hearts to change, right? But is that what we do? I often find myself so jaded on the idea of prayer that I stop believing in its power. But Jesus says there is power in prayer, specifically for praying to the Father, in Jesus' name.

But let's examine that paragraph of text for a moment. You know the one in John 15 right after Jesus explains that He is the vine and His Father the vine-dresser? I'll put it in blockquotes so you can see it more easily:

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another." (John 15:12-17 ESV)

The first thing we should notice is that the reason that God even gives us a command is so that we would love one another as He loved us. And what kind of love is that? It's sacrificial love. And so if we are doing what Jesus commands, then we are what? Not servants, not slaves, but friends. And isn't it true that when you are striving with a friend for the same goal that you will not feel obligated to work together for the sake of that goal, but rather it is your joy to participate in reaching that goal with your friend? Is the line-man a slave to the quarterback (to use a football analogy)? Is the quarterback in servitude to the kicker? No, though their roles differ in size and scope, the proper use of their talents are necessary to win the game. And we know this because we rejoice equally in winning. Certainly there are players who will benefit more than others, but the team fights together to win because they all celebrate in winning together.

And this is how Jesus defines "friend" in this passage. Because we are working alongside Jesus in loving one another sacrificially as he has shown us to do, we are his friends, not his servants or slaves. So the work that we do for the Kingdom is not blind obedience because "...all that [Jeusus has] heard from [His] Father [He has] made known to [us]." Jesus makes known to us the will of God! We are not blind to the will of God, like the offensive line-man is not blind do the will of the team. Though often all he sees are the angry faces of the d-line, he is focused and determined because he is committed to the goal of the team. Similarly the Christian (though often he will only see the world and its sinfulness) is committed to the goals, workings, righteousness, and love of the Church for God's good purpose.

Think of the team as the church for a moment and Jesus as the head coach. First and foremost, the players do not choose their coach, the coach chooses them. We did not choose Jesus, he has chosen us. Secondly the players do not write the plays, the coach writes the plays. But here's where something really cool happens. The greatness of this coach, who is analogous to Jesus, doesn't sit down and write generic plays that are meant to be executed with a chance of success. Rather, this coach looks at his team, who are his friends because they come willingly for the coach's purpose, not their own, and he invents plays specifically designed  for each player so that they will succeed one hundred percent of the time.

Now there is no football team who can perform like this, but if we could imagine that such a team existed, it would be analogous to the church and the purposes of the church. Because Jesus looks at us, those of us who are no longer under the bondage of slavery, who have been chosen to be friends of God, and He knows our strengths and he knows our weaknesses, He knows our needs and our wants, He knows us inside and out, through and through. And since He is absolutely sovereign, God the Father writes the plays for the church. And each play is perfect, each having a 100% success rate. There is no "chance" in God's sovereignty. If there were chance then we would have a problem with existence. But since God exists, chance does not. And this is what Jesus means when he says that the fruit we bear should abide. It means that when we gain yardage on a play, we don't lose it. We don't give up that yardage because God sustains it. God keeps the church. God maintains His saints. We persevere because God makes us to!

And so we are Jesus' friends because he chose us to be a part of the church and to follow in His example of love so that we can bear fruit so that our fruit should abide so that "whatever [we] ask the Father in [Jesus'] name, he may give [us]." And here's where the prayer comes in. Because the line-man does not pray for a new car when he sets for the hike. He asks for strength to block who he needs to block. He asks for courage to stand His ground when the play gets rough. He asks for wisdom to make well informed quick decisions. He asks for endurance to make it through the quarter. He'll even ask God to be with His team-mates, to keep them fit for action and not wavering in their work for the team. If he stops looking to the prize, if he stops fighting, or if he starts working out of obligation instead of out of a common purpose with the coach, then the player will become fatigued and frustrated. He will fight his coach instead of the opposing team, he will bring others down with him, he will demoralize the team and without delay, the coach will see the lack of focus and insubordination and the coach will take him out.

Likewise, and here's where it gets rough, the Christian does not pray for a better situation. He does not pray that his living situation will change, he does not pray that some girl will like him, he does not pray that he can sin and get away with it. Rather the Christian prays for the armor of God.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (Ephesians 6:10-20 ESV)

 Note the extreme emphasis on spiritual warfare here. And when you get down to verse 18 where it says that we are to pray, it says more than just to pray a lot. It says to pray "...at all times in the Spirit ... with all prayer and supplication .... keep alert with all perseverance ... making supplication for all the saints." These four prepositional phrases give us the basic framework of whose authority we pray with and what we pray for: How often do we pray? Always. By whose authority? The Holy Spirit dwelling in us. For what purpose? So that we keep alert with all perseverance. For what do we pray? For all the saints; yourself, yes, but for the church as well.

Here's the big picture: Because we're chosen by God, we are to love others the way Christ loved us and gave himself up for us on the cross. And since God has given us this desire to love others, we have become a friend of God the Father through Jesus' death and resurrection. So we participate in the body of believers (that being the church) to bear fruit that will last. So when we pray we are praying for that very thing. Our prayers are for the eternal purposes of God, not for our immediate gratification. Often our prayers will just be to keep us focused on our eternal inheritance with Jesus, like the line-man focused on winning. It's when we stop praying for the Kingdom and start praying for ourselves that we become angry and frustrated with our situations. It is in these times where we bring the whole church down with our reviling and complaining. It is in these times that we fall into sin and God chooses to take us out of the game to discipline us so that we will be ready to go back in and be useful to God for His good purposes.

So now when we ask the Father for something in Jesus' name, we should be convinced that God will provide what we need. Notice when a pastor prays before he gives a message; he doesn't ask that people would be comfortable with His words. He does not ask for the time to go by quickly so he can eat lunch sooner. He doesn't beg God for something unless He is convinced by the Spirit that he or the congregation need it. What is it that the pastor will often pray for? He'll pray for humility to speak the words clearly, for the Holy Spirit to move the hearts of his parishioners, for grace in his teaching as he is not perfect at speaking, etc.... He prays for the things of the Kingdom! Remember, Jesus has shown us the will of God so we know, just as our pastor knows, what to pray for.

And this is how we should pray daily: Constantly repenting of our earthly desires, turning to let God put His armor on His saints, whom He has chosen to bear His good fruit, that He will persevere so that we may have the freedom to ask of the Father in the name of Christ, Jesus our Lord and Saviour, knowing that He has given us the power of the Holy Spirit to receive the gifts of the Kingdom for His good purpose. Amen. Amen. Amen.